*WARNING* This blog posts contains mature subject matter. The only reason it is included is that it is vital to Sarah’s story as it is an early indicator of John’s later behavior.  Those sensitive to the subject matter as well as the author’s daughter may wish to avoid this entry.

Sarah had to work until closing on the night of Thursday, May 12th,1988, but planned to go to John’s afterward. At 21, she felt like an old maid and the oldest virgin around. Even her sister, who was almost four years younger, had way more experience with boys.

That morning, Sarah’s mother warned her about sex before marriage, but it fell on deaf ears.

As Sarah drove to John’s that night, she tried to take calm, deep breaths. She knew her life was about to change. She was an avid reader and was aware that there would be pain and blood, but she was not worried because John had been married before. He had experience.

In the muted light of the darkly paneled bedroom, John attempted to cross her battle line. She did not resist. It was the first time she was ever naked with a man. He asked  her is this is what she truly wanted and she said yes. The pain was very great, but nothing compared to the pain her heart would soon feel. John felt something wet, looked down, saw the blood, and ran cursing from the room. Sarah was left naked, bleeding, and alone.

When he came back, he yelled at her and told her to get dressed and go home. As soon as she got up, he gathered the sheets and put them in the wash because he did not want his mother to see the blood. Shaking and scared, Sarah drove the six miles to her house. It was the longest six miles of her life.

She spent the next two hours at the kitchen table, shaking uncontrollably. Sarah’s mother came in the kitchen and told her to go to bed. Sarah was sure her mother knew what happened.

Sarah cried herself to sleep that night, feeling used and abused, knowing she would never see John again. She was very surprised when he called her the next day.

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